becoming the student instead of being the teacher...

Foolish person that I am, I started this job thinking I would have so much to teach and show these kids. I couldn't have been more wrong. Yes, to an extent I do teach and show the kids some things, but not as much as they have taught me. Fortunately for me, God knows me better than I know myself.

Take today for example. There is a girl in particular I wanted to spend a little one on one time. I had lost my patience several times and had been short with her. I wanted to show her I did care about her and to make amends. Which meant I needed to apologize to her. Easier said then done.

I needed to run an errand so I had her come with me. I started by asking how her day went and then we started talking about some things that had been going on at school. Eventually it came time for me to apologize. As much as I hate to admit this, I struggled. I struggled with the idea of admitting to one of the girls that I messed up. That even I, the adult, could make a mistake. Lord, forgive me. I have been so proud. So much so I almost didn't apologize to her. But I knew that would be a mistake. I knew that to make things right I needed to show her I could admit to when I was wrong and to move forward. Such a little thing, and yet it was so hard to do. I'm glad to say that we were able to end the night on a very good note.

Why, as Christians, is it so hard for us to admit when we are wrong? I know this isn't the only time I've struggled with admitting I was wrong. Why do we feel we need to have a facade of perfection? Living the life of a Christian means failing and learning and growing and becoming a better person in Christ. The only way we can ever be perfect is through Christ. We need to stop struggling with maintaining a mask of perfection and start living the life we are called to live...as beloved children of the King, who sees us as holy because of the sacrifice His Perfect Son made on the cross for us!

As I have said so many times before, my time here in Nebraska has been full of lessons. I have grown in ways I never imagined. God is slowly showing me His plan for my life. Please keep me in your prayers. My lessons and struggles are far from over, but I look forward to growing in my relationship with Christ. Please pray my ears and heart will be open to what God has in store for me next. I would like to finish school and possibly go back to school to become a therapist or counselor. But it's possible God has something else in mind. Pray I will have peace about what God has for me, and pray I will trust Him...no matter what.

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas to all! I love saying that. This is one of the most wonderful times of year for me. I love having a time set aside to celebrate the birth of my Savior, and to enjoy the things I have. I love putting up lights and Christmas trees...it makes the atmosphere brighter and more cheerful. I love relaxing and enjoying time with family and friends. I know our world wants to take Christ out of Christmas, but I think to do that you would have to get rid of Christmas all together or Christmas would be pointless.

I am considering this my Christmas letter for the year. Since I am flying home for Christmas, I am trying to spend less money on other things and I decided not to send out a Christmas letter by mail but instead by blog.

For anyone who has been reading my blogs, you will remember that this past year or so has been full of ups and downs. When I came to Nebraska, my dad had just gotten out of the hospital after being very sick. It was my first time being that far away from family and friends, and I was starting a job I had no idea how to do. Since coming to Nebraska, I have had teenagers yell at me, call me names, swear at me, threaten me, and even hit me. I have had one girl run away, and two leave unsuccessfully. After working my first seven months with the same gal, I had to get use to working with someone new as well as learn the summer program and run a cottage full of teenage girls. In August, my cousin Willy passed away to be with his eternal Father, and I was able to go for his funeral and see family I had not been able to see in a long while. I have even started getting gray hairs...which has made me understand how parents start graying after they have children...I just thought they made that up. ;-) I have been stretched in ways I never imagined...and yet through it all I can say with a joyful heart that God is good! I have learned and grown in ways I wouldn't have had I stayed home, and I am starting to feel like I have more direction in my life. I am so thankful for this opportunity and that I listened and followed God's leading.

However, I believe that my time here will soon come to an end. I am trying to figure out what to do next. I have been thinking about finishing school and would like to continue working with youth, but maybe in a different way than a group home. Please keep me in your prayers as I try to figure out what God wants me to do next, and when it will be time for me to leave Nebraska. Thank you for supporting me through prayers, words of encouragement, phone calls, visits, and even money. You all have been a huge blessing in my life and I really appreciate everything! I hope and pray that this Christmas season will be filled with joy and many blessings for you and your families.

giving thanks with a greatful heart...

Lately, I have been thinking over the last year, and all that has happened. As I do this, I can't help but be thankful for so many things. I figured since Thanksgiving is coming up I would spend some time sharing the things I am thankful for. This will not be my entire list, but a highlight and they are not in any particular order.

I'm thankful for:

~my dad getting better

~having a supportive family

~a job I have learned from

~extended family...and the laptop they gave me and the prayers, encouragement, and money

~friends I can stay in touch with

~a phone so I can stay in touch with everyone back home

~all the letters/visits/phone calls I have received from family, friends, and church family

~planes...so I can go home for Christmas!

~a loving, gracious, merciful Savior

~my health

~having a chance to encourage, help, love, and share God with teens

I know for me, I tend to take things for granted after a while. Moving this far from home and reminded me how thankful I am for so many different things. Working with these teens has also made me realize that sometimes, I have a lot more to be thankful for than they do. I've grown up with a family that loves me and have some amazing friends. A lot of these youth don't have even that. Please keep them in your prayers as the holidays come up. This tends to be a really hard time for them. Some have families to go back to and some don't. I enjoy trying to make the holidays a special time for the youth who have no family to celebrate with. For Thanksgiving Day, everyone that is not on visits gets together to have dinner and hang out. This year we might even get to play Guitar Hero. ;-)

I hope and pray that anyone who reads this, has many things to be thankful for. It's so easy to let the hard/negative things take precedent, and we forget all that God has done for us. God is control, and He knows our needs before we know them. I'm so thankful He is the one in control and not me.

The youth are already into their second quarter of the school year. Most of them are doing very well in school, and there is usually one or two that struggle. I would ask that you would pray for one girl in particular...she has been refusing to go to her first two classes and has come up with every excuse not to go. She is failing a couple classes, and is having a lot of issues in the cottage. She has been the the system for a large amount of her life, and has a lot of things to deal with. Please pray that she will be placed where she will get the best care. A lot of these kids struggle with seeing God as good. With all the bad stuff they have had to deal with in their lives, they have a hard time understanding that God does love them and to trust Him. Please pray that seeds will be planted in their hearts and that someday they will understand and give their hearts and lives to God.

Thank you for your prayers. They are so appreciated and needed. Please don't stop praying!

some fall pictures...

Lord, help me...

With October just around the corner, I am taking the time to look back at the year I have spent in Nebraska. It has been stretching, trying, stressful, rewarding, and a time of growth. This job is definitly a lot harder than I ever imagined. The Lord is good and faithful. But please don't stop praying. I am finding this year point to be about the most trying time for me. Working here has opened my eyes to many lies these youth believe, and in turn I have found that I believe. I am currently finding myself struggling with quite a few personal things, as well as trying to help these kids. I'm getting in the way, and I am finding I have lost my focus. Instead of focusing on God and these kids, my focus has turned to me. I'm not sure when this happened, but now that I realize it I am struggling with turning it back to the Lord. Please pray that the Lord will reveal the lies I have believed and help me to replace it with Truth. I feel I can't give these kids what they need because of myself. I don't know if this makes sense, but please pray that God will become my focus again...that I will lean on Him and rely on Him each and every day! Thank you for your support through your prayers, encouragments, and sometimes even money. They are all very much appreciated and remind me how I am not alone. Blessings!

1 Peter 1:13-16, 22-25

Therefore, preparing your minds for action, and

being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the

grace that will be brought to you at the revelation

of Jesus Christ.

As obedient children, do not be conformed to the

passions of your former ignorance, but as he who

called you is holy, you also be holy in all your

conduct, since it is written, "You shall be holy, for I am holy".

Having purified your souls by your obedience to the truth for a sincere brotherly love, love one

another earnestly from a pure heart, since you have been born again, not of perishable seed but

of imperishable,

through the living and abiding word of God; for "All flesh is like grass and all it's glory like the

flower of the grass. The grass withers, and the flower falls, but the word of the Lord remains

forever."

And this word is the good news that was

preached to you.

when it rains, it floods...literally

On facebook, I've mentioned my room flooding yesterday and several people have wondered how it happened. So, I figured I'd write about it on my blog to give you the whole story. I woke up around 6am on Wednesday morning to a big thunderstorm. It started raining really hard, but I didn't think anything of it. I dozed off until my alarm went off at 6:30am. As I'm laying in bed I realize it sounds like there is running water in my room. I turn on my lamp and look towards my window, figuring that would be where the water would come in. The windowsill is dry, so I look down at the floor. There was water spreading from the wall to my bed. I got up, made sure my blanket wasn't touching the floor, and tried to figure out where the water was coming from. Just above the baseboard, the paint on the wall was bubbling out and there was a steady stream of water flowing into my room. I spent the next 20 minutes getting towels to soak up water, and moving everything that was on the floor to my bed or the laundry room. At 7am, the water was just reaching my bedroom door and starting to spill into the hallway (it had already flooded our little bathroom that seperates the two bedrooms). By this time, the rain outside had lighten up and water stopped running into my room. My carpet was soaked and there was a thin layer of water on top. I had to ask the girls to give me their towels so I could soak up water and keep it from going into the other bedroom. I did not get to take a shower and as the girls got ready for school, I was trying to decide how I was going to get the water out of my room. After we dropped the kids off at school and had our team meeting, my coworker and I borrowed a shop vacuum and a dehumidifier from Grace's shop. Two other coworkers came over with extra towels, and we started ringing out the soaked towels and putting the dry ones day (which were soaked right away). We then started vacuuming up water. We spent a couple hours taking turns vacuuming and rining out towels and moving furniture out of the room. We probably removed a 10 gallons of water from the room, and even after that the carpet still felt soaked. We'd walk around and have water pool around our feet. We got a couple fans and got those going and took a break for lunch. After that it was a matter of waiting for the floor to dry. When it was time for bed last night, the carpet was still pretty wet so I had to sleep on the couch downstairs. This morning the carpet is much drying...in certain areas. It smells, but I'm hoping that once everything is dry the smell will go away. This has been a very interesting experience, and I hope I don't have to go through it again for a long time.