Foolish person that I am, I started this job thinking I would have so much to teach and show these kids. I couldn't have been more wrong. Yes, to an extent I do teach and show the kids some things, but not as much as they have taught me. Fortunately for me, God knows me better than I know myself.Take today for example. There is a girl in particular I wanted to spend a little one on one time. I had lost my patience several times and had been short with her. I wanted to show her I did care about her and to make amends. Which meant I needed to apologize to her. Easier said then done.
I needed to run an errand so I had her come with me. I started by asking how her day went and then we started talking about some things that had been going on at school. Eventually it came time for me to apologize. As much as I hate to admit this, I struggled. I struggled with the idea of admitting to one of the girls that I messed up. That even I, the adult, could make a mistake. Lord, forgive me. I have been so proud. So much so I almost didn't apologize to her. But I knew that would be a mistake. I knew that to make things right I needed to show her I could admit to when I was wrong and to move forward. Such a little thing, and yet it was so hard to do. I'm glad to say that we were able to end the night on a very good note.
Why, as Christians, is it so hard for us to admit when we are wrong? I know this isn't the only time I've struggled with admitting I was wrong. Why do we feel we need to have a facade of perfection? Living the life of a Christian means failing and learning and growing and becoming a better person in Christ. The only way we can ever be perfect is through Christ. We need to stop struggling with maintaining a mask of perfection and start living the life we are called to live...as beloved children of the King, who sees us as holy because of the sacrifice His Perfect Son made on the cross for us!
As I have said so many times before, my time here in Nebraska has been full of lessons. I have grown in ways I never imagined. God is slowly showing me His plan for my life. Please keep me in your prayers. My lessons and struggles are far from over, but I look forward to growing in my relationship with Christ. Please pray my ears and heart will be open to what God has in store for me next. I would like to finish school and possibly go back to school to become a therapist or counselor. But it's possible God has something else in mind. Pray I will have peace about what God has for me, and pray I will trust Him...no matter what.
