His plans, not mine...

Time is flying by. School started in August for the girls. Labor day weekend, a friend/coworker got married in Wisconsin. Another coworder and I were able to take a road trip to go to her wedding. We had an amazing time, especially when we were able to go to Lake Michigan and be on a sandy beach with a body of water! :-) This week is homecoming week and the girls get to dress up for a different theme every day. Today was decade day...the seniors dress in 80's fashion, the junior's dress in 70's fashion, the sophmores dress in 60's fashion, and the freshman dress in 50's fashion. The girls are having fun creating costumes for each day. Next week a friend of mine from Oregon will be visiting and we are planning on traveling down to St. Louis for a few days.

Currently there are 7 girls living in the cottage that I work at. It can get pretty crazy with 7 teenage girls. I've discovered I prefer having 5 or less in the house because I feel I can give them the attention they need.

In a week I will have been in Nebraska for 2 years. I can't believe it has been that long already. I am getting to a place where I am ready to move on to the next thing God has for me...I'm still figuring out what that is though. Right now I am thinking about finishing school. Being here has helped me figure out the direction I would like to go in life, and hopefully where God is leading me. As some of you know, my grandma/dad/and grandpa have all had health issues this year and I am getting homesick. I am looking into the possibility of moving back to Oregon as my next step. When this will happen, I'm not sure. But please be praying for me as I look for the direction God wants me to go. God has done some amazing things in my life during my time in Nebraska, and I have learned and grown in so many ways. Thanks to everyone who has been an encouragement to me while I've been away from home. It's not easy living so far away from everyone I know, but I am so thankful I followed where God was leading me. He's not through with me yet, and I am looking forward to what else He has in store for me.

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11

Love is in the air...

Last night I was on facebook and looking at some pictures a friend posted of a her cute little girl. I decided that I have really enjoyed looking at all the pictures so many of my friends and family have posted of their little ones. So many precious pictures and memories...I just can't help but smile when I see them.

And at the same time I feel a little envious. I wish I could post pictures and stories of my little ones, but God has decided that I am to stay single...for the time being. It was been hard watching so many friends get married and start families. I feel like I've been left behind. I want to fall in love with that special someone and have a family.

Then I realize I have already fallen in love with a very special Someone, and I'm continuing to fall in love with Him. No one can love me the way He does or take care of me like He does. He wants to be the most important person in my life, and only He can satisfy me. How easily I have been pulled into the illusion that only when I find my better half and have a family will I be content and happy. I have learned the only times I have truly been content is when I am in the center of God's will for me...when I am following Him and living for Him and living for the present and not always looking towards what is going to happen next.

It is so amazing to me that there is Someone who loves me unconditionally and in a way no one else will ever love me. Someday I hope to be a wife and mother, but for now I am content to be loved by the who created me and loving those He has placed in my life.

Focusing on Christ

It's interesting how much of Christianity has become about us. While doing my bible study it asked me why I thought "God is so keenly interested that His children be well connected and dynamically united?" (Experiencing Christ Within by Dwight Edwards). The study went on to say that people usually think of first "is that our unity will help strengthen and encourage one another toward greater godliness, we view community primarily as a laboratory for our Christian development." (E.C.W. by Dwight Edwards). As I read this it struck me how much we think Christianity is about us (and I'm including myself in this). When really, Christianity has less to do with me and everything to do with God. Don't get me wrong, I think unity does help with growth and encouragement, but that's just a little bit of it. "God sees our community primarily as an exhibition, not a laboratory. Our Spirit-drenched oneness is the most important way His spectacularness is displayed on earth." (E.C.W. by D.E.) That's what it's about - that is what our lives are all about...displaying God's spectacularness. My life, my faith is all about Him. How I live, think and breathe either gives glory to God or focuses on myself. The Christian life is all about learning and giving glory to God and to God alone. I need to stop focusing on how I am giving glory to God and if my life is pointing others to Christ. My life here on earth is short and momentary - I want every second to count and to bring glory to the One who created me. He is the Creator of the universe. He is Omniscent, Omnipresent, and Omnipotent. He is the only one who deserves the glory and honor for His spectacularness. I wonder what would happen if we as Christians focused more on Him and less on us? I think God's spectacularness would shine all the more brightly and He would be glorified. I think that is how it should be...what do you think?

Marks of the True Christian...Romans 12:9-21

"Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.

Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, 'Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.' To the contrary, 'if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.' Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."

growing up...

I have been thinking about how much I have changed since graduating high school. So much has happened in my life. And now, more than ever before, I see God as the Author of it all! He definitely knows what He is doing, and I am so thankful for that.

I have been working on a bible study by Dwight Edwards called “Experiencing Christ Within”. This has been the most amazing study I have ever done. Instead of feeling obligated to do it, I want to do it. For those who know me well know that I’m really good at starting things but struggle with finishing them. Not so with this study! Why, you might ask, is this study so good? Glad you asked! J

This study talks about the Old and New Covenants and “Passionately embracing God’s provisions for supernatural living.” Before you get scared off by the word “supernatural”, please finish reading this. I don’t want you to miss out on Truth, which can sometimes be scary.

For anyone who reads my facebook, some of these quotes might sound familiar. Currently I am on week five of the study, and I have noticed that I have at least one favorite quote from each week and I would like to share those quotes with you now.

“He (God) never requires anything from us that He hasn’t already deposited within us.”

“God does not exist for us; we exist for Him.”

“To be transformed, our job is to ‘behold’-to continually contemplate-God’s glory, focusing our spiritual gaze not primarily on things like Christian duties or our unworthiness, but on God’s spectacularness.”

“I cannot by direct moral effort, give myself new motives. After the first few steps in the Christian life we realize that everything which really needs to be done in our souls can be done only by God.” -C.S. Lewis

“Drawing attention to God must be the central purpose behind all our actions.”

“Only after we lose all hope of attaining on our own what God requires will we stop relying on self and start passionately taking hold of what god has provided.”

So, what do you think? See any common themes between the quotes?

I do. God. Okay, I will elaborate. Only God can accomplish in me what I struggle to do on my own. God wants us to live a life that is holy and glorifies Him. I cannot do this, only He can. Hard thing to swallow, I know. I need to stop trying and start being. God has given me the tools and things necessary to live a holy, set a part life for Him. But I have to be willing to use them and let Him work through me. Easier said than done, but so worth it!

Right now I am reading and learning about who God really is, not who we make Him out to be or want Him to be. So many times we want to just see Him as a loving Father, which He is. But in the study the author points out that God’s “most foundational attribute is not love but holiness—the perfect holiness that is the source of His righteous wrath.” There is a reason we need to come before God with fear and awe. Also, as my mother so rightly put it, this is the reason why we pray in the name of Jesus. Because He is our advocate to a Holy and Righteous God. Think about the Old Testament and the Israelites. When they chose to go their own way, God was not happy with them because they were not bringing glory to His name. He would get angry with them and punish them with His righteous wrath. There are times when He restored the Israelites, not because they deserved it, but because it would bring glory to His name. If He punished the Israelites for not bringing glory to His name, then I need to seriously reconsider how I’m living my life and if it is bringing glory and honor to His name. Again, I am so thankful I have Christ to intercede on my behalf!

Hopefully this is all making sense. There is so much more I can talk about, but I will give my soap box a rest for now. J Hopefully this gives you a lot to think about and maybe even challenge you. My purpose on this earth is to live a life that is honoring and glorifying my Creator.

becoming the student instead of being the teacher...

Foolish person that I am, I started this job thinking I would have so much to teach and show these kids. I couldn't have been more wrong. Yes, to an extent I do teach and show the kids some things, but not as much as they have taught me. Fortunately for me, God knows me better than I know myself.

Take today for example. There is a girl in particular I wanted to spend a little one on one time. I had lost my patience several times and had been short with her. I wanted to show her I did care about her and to make amends. Which meant I needed to apologize to her. Easier said then done.

I needed to run an errand so I had her come with me. I started by asking how her day went and then we started talking about some things that had been going on at school. Eventually it came time for me to apologize. As much as I hate to admit this, I struggled. I struggled with the idea of admitting to one of the girls that I messed up. That even I, the adult, could make a mistake. Lord, forgive me. I have been so proud. So much so I almost didn't apologize to her. But I knew that would be a mistake. I knew that to make things right I needed to show her I could admit to when I was wrong and to move forward. Such a little thing, and yet it was so hard to do. I'm glad to say that we were able to end the night on a very good note.

Why, as Christians, is it so hard for us to admit when we are wrong? I know this isn't the only time I've struggled with admitting I was wrong. Why do we feel we need to have a facade of perfection? Living the life of a Christian means failing and learning and growing and becoming a better person in Christ. The only way we can ever be perfect is through Christ. We need to stop struggling with maintaining a mask of perfection and start living the life we are called to live...as beloved children of the King, who sees us as holy because of the sacrifice His Perfect Son made on the cross for us!

As I have said so many times before, my time here in Nebraska has been full of lessons. I have grown in ways I never imagined. God is slowly showing me His plan for my life. Please keep me in your prayers. My lessons and struggles are far from over, but I look forward to growing in my relationship with Christ. Please pray my ears and heart will be open to what God has in store for me next. I would like to finish school and possibly go back to school to become a therapist or counselor. But it's possible God has something else in mind. Pray I will have peace about what God has for me, and pray I will trust Him...no matter what.