Happy New Year!

I can't believe it will be a new year in two days! We had three girls leave and go home hopefully for good. We have two more that are waiting to hear when they will be going home...hopefully by next Monday. I think we might be getting a new girl soon, but I'm not sure. Christmas day was nice. Those of us that were here decided to get together for lunch; then we played Cranium, Wii, and Rockband. It was a pretty laid back day. Thank you to everyone who sent me Christmas cards and gifts. It was fun getting them, and a huge thank you to my extended family on my mom's side for the wonderful laptop! Perfect timing and you have blessed me beyond words! Now I'm trying to decide what to do New Year's Eve, since I'm not working. I still don't really know anyone outside of Grace, and so it's hard to make any plans or do anything fun unless I do it by myself. Please be praying that God will provide a friend for me outside of work.

I've had a lot of time to think since I came out here. Looking back I realize how I'm a much different person then I was at the beginning of this year. I've gone from waking up in the morning dreading going to work to waking up in the morning and asking God to help me be Christ to the teenagers and people I'm around. I've gone from taking my family for granted to appreciating them in a way I never knew was possible. I've gone from knowing God is there to seeing God in everything. I've gone from thinking I trusted God to knowing it. At the beginning of this year I would have never imagined seeing my dad in the hospital for almost a month or moving half way across a continent or having a job that I truly wanted. There are things that I'm glad to have gone through but don't want to go through them again....at least not for a long time. At the same time, I wouldn't trade these last few months for anything. It's through experiences like those that I experience and see God in a way I never saw Him before. It wasn't easy seeing my dad in a drug induced coma to where he couldn't talk to me or respond to my touch. And it wasn't easy talking to my mom about the possibility of my dad dying, or about moving away when all this was going on. Nothing in the last few months has been easy. But I serve a faithful God who will never leave me nor forsake me! Going through everything forced me to rely on God in a way I had never relied on Him before, and to trust Him in a way I had never trusted Him before. I hope and pray that I will remain faithful to Him as He has remained faithful to me. I pray that He will shine through me, and will shine into the darkness that surrounds these teens' lives. I pray that God will take away my timidity, and help me to work hard and not give up especially when times/things get hard. I still have a long ways to go in my walk with the Lord, and I look forward to where He is going to take me. It will be a hard, tough, growing, learning, and loving experience.......but with God nothing is impossible!

It was -9 degrees this morning when I went to start the car. It's FREEZING! I don't think I've ever been so cold in all my life. Still no snow, I'm guessing it's too cold to snow right now. I think I got all my Christmas shopping done, now I just have to put everything together and mail.

Please be praying for me and my coworker this week. Many of the girls are feeling stressed as some are looking at going home for good next week, and some aren't sure. One of the girls has been very angry the last few weeks. Many of the girls don't listen to us when we say that their behavior now affects their chances of going home. Pray for wisdom in dealing with each girl, for understanding, and for God's love to be evident in our relationships with these kids. We have a busy schedule this week, and sometimes that just adds to the stress. Pray that I will look to God for help, strength, and encouragement.

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow...!

It snowed a couple inches last night. And then it got really windy in the middle of the night. The roads are a little slick, but not too horrible yet.
Last night I read the Nativity story to the girls, and then tonight (weather permitting) a lady that is mentoring one of the girls is bringing the movie The Nativity for the girls to watch, as well as some snacks. We will also be celebrating one of the girl's birthday today as well. Tomorrow is youth group, then thursday night some of the girls get to have a "reward" dinner for doing well in school, and not getting any detentions. On Thursday during the day, there is a lady coming to train us in leadership...I'm not exactly sure what all it will entail, but it should be interesting.
Next week we have a staff Christmas party on Wednesday, then a cottage Christmas party on Thursday, then a group from Omaha is coming to do a Christmas retreat over the weekend. So our weeks are filling up fast.
Our van is still broken. I'm not sure what is going to happen to it. I'm working Christmas eve and Christmas day, but it's possible we might not have any girls here those days...not sure yet. On the 21st, there is a Messiah concert here in town. I will probably be singing in the choir. I've missed the last two practices, but I'm hoping to make the last three if everything goes well. Please be praying for safety for the girls as they travel for visits, and that moods won't be too wacky between now and Christmas.

Before I moved to Nebraska, I had a lot of people ask me why I was moving here...and I still get that reaction when I tell people here that I'm from Oregon. I would like to shed some light on the subject.
First of all, I moved to Nebraska because that is where the job is. Second, when you hear God telling you to go...you go. And third, I wanted to try something new and to stretch myself. That doesn't always work when you stay in the town you grew up in. I love Dallas and Oregon and I plan on coming back and working with foster kids, but for now God has asked me to be in Nebraska. I don't know exactly for how long, but I will go where He leads. It's all about faith. When I got back from visiting in September, Mom and I spent some time that first morning just talking, and she shared some advice with me. She said that whenever I face a big decision to ask myself "Will it take more faith to go or to stay?". I knew as soon as she said that that I was to go. I love my family and friends, and I knew it would take more faith to be away from them then to be with them. And this wasn't an easy decision...especially with Dad in the hospital. There was a point when Mom and I talked about what would happen if Dad ended up dying (which he didn't--thank the Lord). I didn't think I would be able to leave at all then, but Mom pointed out that God would still be calling me to leave and to have faith in Him. I hope I don't have to face that decision for a very long time! But through this all, I have learned so much about what faith is and what it looks like. I miss my family, and when Dad ended up back in the hospital I was scared...but all I could do was pray and trust God to take care of them and me.
On a lighter note...
I've had a pretty good shift. I get off tonight. I got up at 4:30 this morning to take some of the girls to a canner. There is a portable canner that travels around the midwest that cans turkey to send out as relief food. It has been in Henderson since Monday, and all of the cottages have taken kids to go help can meat. Well, some of the girls went last night and when they got back wanted to go early this morning before school. We worked for about an hour and a half stuff cans, weighing cans, sealing cans, and stacking cans of ground turkey. It was fun and a good experience, and they had a good time. It was nice to see them willing to do something for other people, after they spend so much time on themselves. They at first complained about it, but then ended up liking it enough to get up extra early today.
With Christmas coming up, some of the girls are looking at going back home permanently, so we will probably be getting some new girls at the end of the month. I think the girls are finally getting used to me, and warming up to me. I've learned four new card games from them already, and I taught several of them how to croche (sp?). It's still a struggle sometimes, but I'm starting to get the hang of things.
This month is already filling up with things to do. A church in Omaha is sending their youth group/adult group to do a retreat for the kids. I guess they'll bring a worship band and have lessons and games for the kids. And we will be putting together several Christmas parties. I'm hoping I can convince people to go caroling with me...it's not as much fun by yourself. It is in the lower twenties today, and it snowed some last night. It was this light powdery snow, that is pretty much all melted by now. I'm pretty much the only one that wants it to snow. :-) Please keep praying for me and this ministry. I really appreciate the encouraging notes and prayers!

Thankful Thoughts...

With Thanksgiving only a few days away, I wanted to take some time to count my blessings:

~My dad is doing better and had his first day of work today!
~God provided a new, exciting, and stretching job for me!
~God has protected, watched, and provided for my family and I over the last few months in some amazing ways! (money, food, encouragement, support, peace, washing machine...just to name a few)
~Cell phones! I am so thankful that I can talk to my family at any time!
~Legs that work...because I have to walk everywhere! :-)
~A heart that is willing to go where God wants me.
~Supportive and encouraging family and friends!
~And most of all, a wonderful Savior who has watched over me since before I was born, and without Him, I would not be doing what I am doing today!

Sometimes it takes moving several states away to fully appreciate your family. I look at these girls' lives and their families, and I realize how truely blessed I have been. I have a supportive and loving family who have helped me through thick and thin, and have brought me up in the way of the Lord. I look at these girls and I see their hopelessness. I was listening to a couple of them talk about Christmas, and they were missing the whole reason for Christmas. It is going to be harder than I thought to reach out to these girls. I've grown up knowing how important it is to be a servant and to follow Christ's example. But when you're surround by people who have grown up seeing Christians as hypocritical, judgemental, and uncaring--how do you contradict that? The church I went to yesterday talked about the church being salt and light to the community, but it was all about good works. The message of salvation didn't have any part, and following Christ had nothing to do with it. It made me sad to think that so many were missing out on this part of the Gospel and what Christianity is about. There's been several times lately that I've wanted to say I'm a "Christ-follower" and not use the word "Christian" because for so many people it has a bad conotation. I am so thankful that I have hope in Christ, and that He has taken my punishment for my sins so that I might know Him for eternity!Please be praying that I will be a light to the girls that I'm around, not because of my "good works" but because of who I am in Christ. I want them to know who Christ is, and the best way to do that is by example...and it won't be easy.
I'll get off my soap box now. :-)
Anyway, I hope you will count your blessings not only this week but throughout your life. Yes, many of us have hard times/sufferings/trials, but God works through those as well as the good times. I'm sad that I won't be able to be at home for Thanksgiving. I give thanks to God that I have such a wonderful family!

Today is my last day before I go off duty...and I am so ready for a break. This shift has dragged. One of the girls in the cottage was suspended on Friday for three days. Then on Saturday, one of the girl's mom said she was missing some stuff from her purse. So my coworker and I had to search every room...thoroughly...as well as the rest of the cottage. Because nothing turned up and no one confessed to stealing anything, the girls aren't able to do anything fun or go anywhere until we figure things out. Which meant they missed out on the bowling Saturday night and going out to lunch on Sunday. I got 4 1/2 hours of sleep Saturday night because I stayed up late to make sure none of the girls snuck out, and one of the girls had a visit Sunday and she was getting picked up at 6:30 in the morning. I feel like I'm getting a cold, and I'm so tired that I keep forgetting things I need to do today.
I've been presented with the opportunity to go to 2 free workshops tomorrow in Lincoln. It has to do with running a non-profit organization...which I would like to do eventually. Lincoln is an hour away, and I would have to be there no later than 8:30 in the morning. I want to go, but I'm so tired I would like to get a good nights rest. I would also be going by myself. I haven't driven to Lincoln by myself, so I'm a little wary of doing it. I'll let you know if I go.
It's still cold here....no snow yet. We had a really good speaker yesterday at church, and I really enjoyed the music. Please keep praying. Pray that we will find the truth behind the stealing (if there really was any stealing) and that God will give me a discerning heart. Pray that I will discipline myself to spend time with God daily. It's hard to do sometimes, but I want to do it. The speaker on Sunday said that he can scientifically prove that when a person spends 4 days in God's Word, there is a noticable change in their attitude/life. That's what I want...but spend more than 4 days. Thanks for the encouragement and prayers!

P.S. Pictures to come soon!

Dad is back home and doing well. Praise God!

I have to say, that being away from home when things are tough is hard. This last weekend I got really frustrated and overwhelmed. It's a lot harder to adjust and learn then I thought. I had a really good talk with my mom Saturday night that helped a lot with my frustration. I'm so glad that I can still talk to my family! Anyway, if you all would be praying that I would have the discipline to spend time with the Lord every day. I know that that will make a difference when I feel lonely, overwhelmed, and frustrated. Pray that I will find a good friend that doesn't necessarily work at Grace.
This last weekend went pretty smooth, except that our 15 passenger van broke. Each cottage has a van. We use it to take them to school on really cold or rainy days, and if we go somewhere as a group. Well, since ours is broken we can't do that. Pray that the Lord will provide a van for us or the money to fix ours. Brian thinks it might be the axel that broke. There's a big metal piece that is sticking out under the van.
I had Monday and Tuesday off. I started making my Christmas presents since I have to mail everything out this year. It's been in the 30's and rainy for the last couple days. No snow yet, but I'm sure that will come soon enough.
A couple of the girls in my cottage are looking at going back home for good at the end of this semester. A couple of the girls are in complete denial about going home. They think they'll be going home before Christmas, but they aren't doing well enough yet. I'm realizing that a lot of these girls are manipulative. They also don't want to really face their problems and think they are doing so well. Please pray for these girls...that they will open their eyes to what's really going on and they will see Christ in the staffs' lives. A couple of the girls believe in God and a few don't. It's kind of weird. I've worked in a "Christian" environment most of my life, and here I am at a Christian organization, but I'm working with kids that have some really skewed views of God and life. Pray that God will use me to be a light in the darkness, that I will rely on God for wisdom, and that I will love and see these girls as God loves and sees them.

Prayer Request

My dad is back in the hospital. Mom took him to the ER in Salem last night because he was feeling weird. His heart was beating irregularly. Mom said they would see the cardiologist today. Please pray for strength for my mom as she has to go through this again, and that my dad will not be stressed. Pray for wisdom for the doctors so they will know what is wrong and what to do. Pray for me, as I can't be there with my family is this rough time. Thank you!

I'm off today, so I thought I would take some time to write about this week. The last couple days my coworker, Niki, has been sick so I have been walking the girls to school by myself. Yesterday, I took one of the girls to a dentist appointment. It was the first time I drove here. The speed limit is 75 on the highway, so everything is moving faster than I'm use to. Thankfully, everything went fine. :-) I think some of the girls are starting to warm up to me, especially now that I have been more involved. Tomorrow will be the first day I haven't worked with Niki. She is the one that has been training me.
There is a cafe here in town that people like to go to for lunch. On every Thursday they make verenika (sp?). It has cottage cheese in a breading that looks like pot stickers, and you can have them fried or boiled. It comes with a white sauce, ham, home made bread, and sometimes green beans. Today was the second time I've had it. It's different but good.
Apparently the staff have a tradition of going to Applebees on Thursday night because you can get buffalo wings really cheap. I don't know if I'm going to go tonight, but I'm sure I'll eventually see what it's all about.
We've been having really nice warm weather for the past week, and then today is bitterly cold with a blistering wind. Someone said there could be snow....but we heard that last week too.
My coworker, Niki, got a puppy yesterday....for free. He's a lab/bordercollie mix, and he's black and white...so cute! I miss my dog so much. So the girls had fun holding him last night. I think he's only 6 weeks old.
Anyway, that's some of the stuff from this week. I go back on duty tonight. Please keep praying for me. Pray that I won't get sick, and that I will be confident with the girls.

Ok, so my mom said I need to give more details about what I'm doing and stuff. I'm currently working in a house with seven teenage girls. This last Friday was Halloween. We had several girls go home for visits. My coworker, Niki, and I planned some things for us to do with the girls since there was no school that day. We bobbed for apples. I got my second apple in under 3 seconds. We all got quite wet. We made cookies in different shapes then iced them. Niki and I peeled grapes for an hour and a half. Then we blindfolded the girls and had them feel different gross things. We freaked them out a bit. I made potato salad for dinner, and a couple of the girls dressed up for the trick or treaters. It was a fun day, and Niki and I were very tired by the end of the day. I go back on duty tonight at 9:30pm for another 6 day shift.
There are only three churches here in town and I have been to all three. They're different then what I'm use to. To of them are more formal. It is weird going to church and not knowing anyone. That's probably the thing I dislike the most...being the "new" person.....especially in a small town.
There's a small lake with a path that goes all the way around it...about a mile long. It's been really nice weather, so I like to take walks around the lake when I have time off. There are more crickets, grasshoppers, ladybugs, and beetles here then I have ever seen anywhere else. The temperature is different every day....so it keeps throwing me off. Over all things have been good so far. Please continue to pray for me. Thank you all for your support and prayers.

I just wanted to add something about the last blog I posted. I email Gail Griffith the next day after the conference. I wanted to share with her the hope and forgiveness I have in Christ. I got an email back from her saying "thank you for your kind words". If you would please pray for her and her family, I would appreciate it. Pray that there will be people in her life that will point her to God and that she will have a heart willing to listen. Thanks.

We have this hope....

I posted this on my facebook last week, and wanted to share it again...especially for those who can't see my facebook.

I went to a conference yesterday with a bunch of staff from Grace in Omaha, NE. The keynote speaker was Gail Griffith. She shared the story of here teenage son's attempted suicide and his battle with depression. It was all very interesting, but very sad. During the Q n A time a gentleman asked what advice she had to parents who go through the same thing and struggle with forgiving themselves. She admitted that she hadn't forgiven herself yet, and she wasn't sure what advice to give. I felt so sad as she said this because I knew that she didn't have the hope that I do. She doesn't know about the forgiveness that God has, and how God can help her heal. It made me very thankful to know that I have that forgiveness and hope. I know that, though it is hard at the time, it will get better and I have a loving Father to hold me and guide me. It made me think about what all has been going on with my dad and our family. If I didn't have hope in Jesus Christ, how much harder it would have been to go through that whole ordeal. Same with when my friend Emily died. If I didn't know that Jesus would be there with me every step of the way, I don't know how I would have survived. I wanted to share my revelation, if you will, and hopefully encourage you. The hope I have in Christ is an everlasting hope that will never fade with time. No matter what I go through, He will always be there for me to guide me, strengthen me, love me, and carry me. If you ever find yourself in a hard situation, or even when things are good remember that you have someone who is always there for you and will never leave you.

I have been in Henderson, Nebraska for exactly two weeks today. Last night I finished my first full shift in the Girl's Cottage. For those that don't know a full shift is working 6 days and then having 3 days off. It went pretty smoothly. Last night we had a few bumps, but nothing too major. I am finding it harder to adjust then I thought. I knew it would take a while for the kids to warm up to me, but it seems to be taking longer with some than others. I just had one of the boys tell me I should see if I can work in the Boy's Cottage for a day. All in all, I am enjoying my time here. We have had rain, wind, frost, sun, and clouds. No snow yet, but I'm sure that will come soon enough. I feel very out of the loop and almost stupid at times because this is such a new environment for me. It will take a lot of time for me to feel comfortable with what I do, but with God's help I know I can do it. It's just hard feel optimistic at times. The staff here are great, and I have enjoyed working with them....so far. :-) I need to go get some lunch, so I will write more sometime this week. Please be praying for patience, energy, and a willing heart to learn for me. I think it is going to be a bit rougher than I imagined. Thank you for keeping me in your prayers!